


You Can't Wake Up (this is not a dream)

by TheCatDemonofInk



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 10:28:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20906144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCatDemonofInk/pseuds/TheCatDemonofInk
Summary: A few years after Klaus' escape from the Umbrella Academy, he nearly freezes to death on the streets.





	You Can't Wake Up (this is not a dream)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evelinaonline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelinaonline/gifts).

> Song: Gasoline by Halsey

Are you insane like me?

Been in pain like me?

Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?

Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?

Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

* * *

“Klaus, Klaus you need to get to somewhere safe for tonight.”

“G’way, B’n.”

“Or at least somewhere sheltered.”

Klaus flapped one end of his scarf, his threadbare, once-neon-now-faded scarf at what appeared to be thin air. Ben soldiered on, hoodie shrugged over his shoulders. He would have given Klaus the hoodie if it would have any effect; it’s not like he needed it now that he was dead. But his hoodie, sadly, was stuck to him. If only the champagne bottle in Klaus’ hand was adequate to keep him warm.

“Klaus, it’s too cold tonight. Find somewhere warm. Please, Klaus.”

Ben tried to place a hand on Klaus’ shoulder, only to feel a surge of frustration as his hand just fell through. Klaus stumbles around him, bare feet moving across the pavement nimbly. Klaus never liked shoes, and that hadn’t changed a bit since leaving  _ the Academy _ . Ben had tried, at first, when they had just left the Academy to convince Klaus that if he was going to need shoes. Klaus had shoes.

Had started out with shoes at least. And nice ones at that, the kind that cost an arm and a leg and someone’s liver and someone else’s kidney. The kind that Klaus shouldn’t have if he hadn’t stolen Reginald’s shit, and the kind that Klaus really shouldn’t have sold for something as fleeting as  _ champagne _ .

Alcohol though. Alcohol and drugs. Being dead meant that Ben could see the other ghosts, and could see the living nightmare that was Klaus’ life. Corpses at every street corner and corpses of every kind of death. Gruesome, terrible corpses of course, heads torn off and deep slashes across throats and arms.

But the worst kind was the kind that didn’t appear to have any problem. Even Ben got fooled once in a while, especially at the start, by quiet voices that pleaded for someone to notice them, and you turned around, worried and asking if the two of them could help in any way. But then Klaus would look at them and try and reach out and his hand would just. Fall through their body and Klaus would stumble away as their wails got louder and their pleas. Their pleas got more vigorous as they turned to Klaus and begged him for help and for everything that he couldn’t give.

Sometimes, and Ben wouldn’t admit it, but he stretched out and let his hand fall through Klaus’ body just to reassure himself that Klaus wasn’t one of the ghosts too. It was a terrible thing to do, he knew, because like the other dead, his body was freezing and no amount of warmth could warm Klaus up but it was worth it. To convince himself that Klaus, no matter how close to death he seemed to be, was only in Death’s front garden.

Although, all things given, Klaus had probably rung Death’s doorbell at several points.

It was days past the last time that Klaus had been able to take a shower. The last shower that he had, he had made his way into while high, and then nearly spilled his bottle of cheap beer on the floor. That had gotten him kicked out, because no one would take a junkie.

Ben tried to pull at Klaus’ scarf to wrap it around him. Klaus giggled a little and turned away as Ben’s fingers fell through the fabric.

* * *

Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?

Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?

Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?

Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?   


* * *

“Klaus?”

Ben apologised, as he slammed straight into Diego, before he realised that Diego couldn’t hear or feel him anyway so the point was moot. Ben had never been so glad to see a brother, especially Diego. Diego and Klaus had been close as children, right? That meant that Klaus could afford to rely on Diego? Diego, who happened to be dressed in his vigilante gear, knives strapped and holstered all over his body, like some kind of low budget Batman.

Anything. Diego wouldn’t leave Klaus here, not when he was freezing so badly. It was too cold that Ben was half surprised that Klaus’ blood had frozen in his veins.

“Di… Diego! Number Two!”

“Keep your voice down.”

Klaus was curled up against the edge of a building, shivering, eyes glazed. Diego was glaring down at him, even as Klaus hiccupped a giggle at him.

Klaus smiled, but not the smile that Ben longed to see. Not his soft, caring smile. He smiled his manic smile, his ‘I’m-not-okay-but-I’m-going-to-pretend’ smile. All their siblings had fallen for it. The fake, plastic smile that made the others groan, and go ‘Number Four… Don’t. Just. Get out.” And Klaus would leave, still smiling his manic smile, all the way until he finally landed into drugs, and then fell down that particular rabbit hole.

Ben had been tricked by that smile, once upon a time. Living and observing Klaus all the time though had taught him better. Because when Klaus was truly happy, the smile he came up with was a soft twitch of his lips. His eyes lit up a little and his hands started to come up as he gestured.

Even now, on the streets, people stayed away from Klaus. Not just because he was a junkie, because that was certainly part of it, but also because he smiled to himself and appeared to be talking to thin air, and he always had on that manic grin.

That manic, intense teeth baring smile that distracted everyone from the pain that Klaus never could escape.

Perhaps, at one point, Diego might have known better. Diego had been close to Klaus when they were younger after all, between talking to Mom and training. They had been as close to actual brothers, actual friends, as it had been possible to be in the fucked up mess that was the Academy.

Ben remembers being jealous at one point, of the fact that Klaus and Diego always seemed so exclusive. But now? Now he just wanted Klaus to be loved.   


* * *

And all the people say

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

* * *

Ben wonders if that was a thing about Diego. The people that he had loved the most had been the ones that well, seemed almost human but not quite. He had loved Mom, yes, and he had loved Klaus. Mom, who was a robot, but who had loved all the children and showed them more affection than Reginald or their other nannies had in years. Mom, who had always been there, unchanging, even as the children grew into teenagers.

Ben wonders if it was the constancy that Diego liked. Mom never changing, and Klaus’ only constant being that he was never the same.

“Number Two?”

Klaus looked up, almost plaintive, as if he could see Diego above him. As if his eyes weren’t clouded over by the haze of drugs and alcohol. Diego sighed and pretended to be put upon, as he hefted Klaus up, and carried him to his beat up old truck.

Klaus’ mascara and eyeshadow smeared on Diego’s vigilante gear, leaving sparkly stains on the black fabric, but Diego didn’t appear to notice. Ben followed behind them, checking to make sure that no one was following them. Klaus had… he had picked up his enemies. Not just the ones that he had collected, that all the Umbrella Academy kids had picked up, but the ones that came from being a young man with curly hair in bright makeup and clothing that didn’t allow you to avert your gaze.

“Number Two, ‘ve m’ssed you.” Klaus mumbled into Diego’s shirt. Diego nods curtly, not bothering with a verbal response.

Ben wondered for a moment, what happened to their other siblings. What happened to Vanya? What happened to Luther, to Allison?

He hadn’t seen Five’s ghost, but Five had been gone so long, it wasn’t as if the chance of him being dead somewhere in time where Ben and Klaus couldn’t reach him was completely unthinkable.

“Two, dyou… dyou love me?” Klaus asks, stumbling over his words as he sits in Diego’s back seat. Diego grunts, and starts the car.

“I’ll drive to my place. You can stay there for the night. Shower.”

Being a ghost, and not needing things like food and sleep also meant that one had an unfortunately long time to watch someone and to think about your life choices. One of those things that Ben pondered on while watching Klaus doze now, and as Diego drove, was that Reginald had broken all of them, but to different extents.

Diego drives on, car glinting in the lamplight, eyes fixed on the road.

* * *

I think there's a flaw in my code

These voices won't leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

* * *

All of them, Ben thought, had become emotionally constipated.

Ben includes himself, because the other ghosts don’t exactly make the best people to socialise with and to talk to about your emotions and worries about your future. Mom had been the actual robot, but all of them, Reginald had tried to programme into being good little robot-soldiers. 

And what do you do when electronics don’t work? You whack them around. You hit them with a wrench. And if the object happens to break in the process of trying to fix it, well, that wasn’t intended.

They had all been hit over the head by Reginald’s metaphorical monkey wrench a couple of times.

Some, like Luther, had thrived. The monkey wrench hitting appeared to have worked. Or maybe it was that his code had been perfect. Obedient, strong, willing to enforce Reginald’s rule on the others in the house. Allison too. Too busy with Luther to deny Reginald, happy to use her rumours at the drop of a hat to get what she wants.

Diego, well. For a long time, Ben might have assumed the monkey wrench hitting worked. But Diego had always been a soft soul, what with the stuttering and his fondness for helping Mom in the kitchen. Diego had loved, and Reginald had never been pleased with that, especially when that love was for robots like Mom, and failures like Klaus.

Hah by that metric, Ben was probably a failure too. So was Van. They should form a team. Klaus could design the T-shirts. Van could come up with a theme song. ‘Umbrella Academy Failure Squad’. Five, well, he wouldn’t be a failure, but he was also missing so, moot. Five was strong, and smart, and he was willing to actually use his power.

Number Six, the Horror.

As if the Horror knew what he was thinking of, they rumbled away in his stomach. Since dying, Ben had been able to feel the horror but hadn’t been able to convince them to come out. Not that he wanted to, of course not, but, it had been a little disconcerting to be unable to feel the pain and constant discomfort of the Horror beneath his skin.

Who said that being dead didn’t have its benefits?

“B’n…” Klaus croaked out, from the middle of Diego’s backseat. Diego stiffens.

“Klaus. Four. Stop pretending Ben- Six is there. It’s not nice.”

Ben wants to retort that Diego is the rude one and  _ he is sitting right here thank you very much and Ben is perfectly happy here _ .

But Klaus just snuffles and curls up in Diego’s car. Within seconds, he’s fast asleep in the warmth of Diego’s car.

“Ben?” Diego says, voice shaking. Ben looks at him and raises his eyebrows. After saying that Klaus is hallucinating, it seems a bit rich to ask for his presence but whatever.

“Yes?” But of course, Diego does not hear him.

“If you’re there… I’m… I’m sorry. For… for everything.”

Ben does not respond. He doesn’t think he knows how to.   


* * *

Are you deranged like me?

Are you strange like me?

Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?

Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?

Pointing fingers 'cause you'll never take the blame like me?   


* * *

“We’re here.” Diego turns off the ignition, parking outside an unsavoury-looking gym. Ben raises his eyebrows. The last he had heard, Diego had been in the police academy. But, things must have changed in the time in between.

Judging by the vigilante gear, Ben thought he might have a guess as to why. The instinctual need to defend, to save, even if it went against the rules, even if the methods used were unsavoury… That was their Diego.

Ben wouldn’t tell Klaus that Diego had made an additional loop around the block to allow Klaus to sleep longer.

The smell of cigarettes and stale alcohol clung to Klaus’ clothes, and Diego sighed and leaned his head against the wheel. Ben took this time to take a good look at Diego.

Diego seemed… jaded. His face was lined and tired, and the knives tucked all over his body were all black.

Diego used the old Umbrella Academy mask.

And they all had their own masks, didn’t they? All his siblings, the ones that survived. The ones that escaped. Klaus had his makeup, his bright eyeshadows and lipstick and his colourful skirts and fluffy jackets. Diego had his Umbrella Academy masks, and his sullenness and his hit-first-ask-questions-later-if-ever attitude towards life. Allison, from what Ben had seen of her, has rumoured herself into a position of fame and happiness, flashing cameras that never saw her when the doors were closed.

He hadn’t figured out what happened to Vanya after Klaus left. He hoped she found somewhere safe, where she could play her violin in peace and where people appreciated her for who she was.

Ben had. Well, he had wondered at least. About what happened to his siblings, even if he couldn’t actually go look them up without Klaus’ help.

Diego opened the car door, and prodded Klaus’ shoulder. Klaus whimpered but woke, blinking blearily in the dim lights.

“You can stay over. Just for a while.”

Klaus nods, and leans over to hug Diego. It’s a strange sight; spindly thin pale makeup covered Klaus and black leather vigilante well-built Diego.

They’ve always been weird after all. Sometimes, it’s better to just embrace the weird.

Sir had certainly leaned into the eccentric billionaire raising superheroes thing pretty hard. It was for the greater good, to stop the no-one-knew-would-actually-happen apocalypse.

* * *

And all the people say

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

* * *

Diego’s boiler room was… well, it was certainly warm which is more than Ben could say than the world outside. Klaus was unceremoniously dumped on the ground, where he had a little more colour in his skin and where he was slowly, unfortunately starting to sober up.

Ben looked around, and noticed the other ghosts, and aggressively attempted to shoo them away, even as Klaus’ eyes came into focus and he shut them tightly to avoid hearing and seeing them. Not that closing his eyes or covering his ears helped, or it would have helped a long time ago.

Diego set about disassembling his vigilante gear, mechanically and with practised fingers. Ben perches himself at the industrial sink, waiting for Klaus to come awake.

Diego was halfway through cleaning and sharpening his second knife when Klaus began to murmur ‘No, no, no.’ and stretch out his arms as if he can ward off both the memories and the actual ghosts with just his arms.

Ben moves to stand next to Klaus, from where he’s lying on the floor. Klaus sobering up is never fun to watch.

“I’m here, Klaus. I’m here.”

Klaus looks at him with wide eyes, and asks, “Where am I?”

“Diego’s place. He caught you freezing on a street corner.”

Klaus’ eyes dart around the room, looking at things that only he could see. Diego looks over a shoulder and says, “My place.”

Klaus smiles at Diego, but it’s his manic grin once again.

“You should… You should stay the night. Shower.” Diego says, not looking at Klaus, eyes fixed on the knife he’s polishing.

Klaus hiccups. Ben looks over at him, and raises his eyebrow.   


* * *

I think there's a flaw in my code

These voices won't leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

* * *

“Ben?” Klaus asks.

“I think you should take Diego up on his offer. You really were freezing.” Ben wants to say, ‘I think you should try to be sober’ but he can’t ask that of Klaus.

Klaus covers his ears briefly as the ghosts continue clamouring for him to help them. Ben sits down next to him, then lies down across his lap. Klaus smiles, eyes soft, and tries to pet Ben.

Diego still doesn’t look at Klaus when he says. “Your body is cold. You should try to warm up.”

Klaus coos. “Awww, so you do care!” And stretches his arms out towards Diego, who resolutely pretends to ignore him.

Yeah, hugging his spindly junkie brother when everyone was not-as-drunk wasn’t something Diego usually did.

Until Klaus did stand and tried to hug Diego, who grumbled and threatened to stab Klaus but otherwise didn’t do anything to avoid the hug.

Ben hugged them both, not wanting to be left out.

Klaus grinned at him, a real smile this time.


End file.
